“All that we are is the result of what we have thought”
- Gautama Buddha

I moved to Bangalore with my family about three months after completing my engineering. I had a few days before I attended an interview and got a job. My dad was running a provisional store, so I used to help out by taking it over at times. It was something I dreaded to do.

Usually after the morning rush, the customer count is very less till evening. So, used this time for reading, day dreaming about my career, sometimes worrying whether I would get a job and be successful. I might have mentioned before, this is when I came to learn about the famous (or infamous) “Law of Attraction”. During my spare time, I started reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. The book famously mentions that everything that happens in your life is a result of your thoughts. Also that you can attract anything you want in your life by feeling as though you already have it and feeling grateful and happy about it.

I was not impressed by this idea initially, but decided to give it a try. There were impressive results, which I may list out in a different post. The reason some people thought the idea was ridiculous is because they misinterpreted the book. They thought that just imagination will bring them what they want, but book also states that gratitude should be accompanied with inspired action for results to appear.

One of the most important message I took from that book is that all that we are is a result of what we have thought. I have learnt through my experiences in life that this is true. The only limit on you is always yourself. You are the primary reason for your success or failure. What you think about yourself defines what you are.

The danger of self pity

You are fond of feeling pity for yourself. Maybe things have happened in life which have lead to failures. Instantly you find yourself blaming your stars for all that is happening in our life. You start accepting yourself as a loser and lose your will to fight. You lose the war the moment you give up your will to fight. Self pitying makes you feel that you have no control over your life and that what ever you do, you cannot change the circumstances that you are in.

It is a dangerous thought. You give in. You make compromises and adjust with the way life is. You decide to go with the flow. You don’t need to always go against the flow but choose your direction of flow, be it into or against the flow. Else the result is a pathetic, unsatisfying life which you will regret on your deathbed. Even if your life is filled with tragedies, they should be a result of your own choices.

Believe in the inner being

Science and religion teach you many things. You believe in them sometimes without even asking for proof. How do you know black holes exist? Have you seen them? You believe what scientists say. How do you know that following cultural rituals are doing good to you? Few of them have proof, others don’t. Still you follow them. Mostly because of the emotional attachment you have towards them.

If these are all believable, why is it so difficult for you to believe in yourself? Why do you underestimate the power of your soul and its capabilities? Why do you not listen to the voice inside when you take decisions? Because the world has been telling you that you are incapable? Because since your childhood, someone else’s judgement of “good” and “bad” has been forced into you.

Every time you have followed your inner voice, you have heard a booming voice discouraging you. Your parents? Siblings? Relatives? Friends? Many many others. You need to realise that there are just few people in this world who really care about you. By few, I mean countable on the fingers of you hands. So you are not obliged to listen to and act upon what everyone says. You end up being a football, kicked around at their free will.

Slowly and steadily, you lose your will. You lose your decision making ability. Your will to take charge. And before you know, the whole life has passed by and there is nothing to point and say “Yes, I am proud of what I did there”. When you die, nobody remembers you beyond your funeral day. I am not saying you should get a 21 gun salute, but make the day worth remembering to the people you leave behind, even if it is just your dog.

To do this, you do not need to conquer Everest, or become a millionaire. Just take charge of your life. Understand the fact that you end up being what you think about yourself. If you think low about yourself, slowly you end up low in life. Others will never respect you more than the respect that you have for yourself. Have high regard for yourself in your mind.

Take control. Decide what YOU want. Do what YOU feel like doing. I don’t believe that gender, cast, race, region or anything should come in the way of this. You quote great leaders, why don’t you apply those principles to our life? You are most important in your life, then why doing this to yourself?

Food for thought.